Screw Tiger blood, I have dragon blood.

  First and foremost, I'd like to begin my first ever blog to reflect on the recent tragedies in Japan. It is believed that the fatality toll could well reach 25000. To put that into context, that is well over ten times the figure amassed in the September 11th bombings in New York. My sympathies and thoughts extend to anyone affected by this, and I am just extremely grateful that our government is putting aside all of our money troubles and sending over support. No matter what country needs help, when things like this happen it must be given, end of story.

  Now, for the past few weeks we have been treated to the rantings of an absolute madman. A man that talks about how he has 'tiger blood' and brags about his secret profession as a 'Vatican assassin warlock'. Yes that's right Charlie bloody Sheen. 

''I live with my wife and a pornstar'' - yeah well you're still not funny.

  Okay so the first few times you watch the god awful mess that is Two and a Half Men, the little spade faced kid is funny. Some of the one-liners are at least chuckle-worthy and there's a certain likeability to the cast.. for a while. Then the boy grew into a chubby, illiterate teenager. Berta (the biiiiig cleaner) stopped taking the piss and tried to get in on the jokes. And Charlie Sheen and the other guy are in it, which is bad enough. I for one am so glad that it's being taken off the air, mainly because every single time I try to watch something on the TV, all that greets me on Comedy Central nowadays is that load of crap.

  What the feck is going on with British people. As I'm writing this article, I just happened to come across a full page story on google news (turns out it's from the Sun) about some daft Welsh lass getting '100% Welsh Lamb' tattooed on her muffin top. (I am purposely avoiding all mutton dressed as lamb quips, that would be far too predictable). Apparently her Mum is going to sue the tattoo artist, and blame him for it, seemingly completely ignorant to the fact that her daughter is a complete waste of air for getting it in the first place.

Gorgeous.

  In fairness to the tattoo artist, he did infact save her a lot of heartache. Apparently the girl wanted it to say '100% Welsh Beef' but the artist quite rightly informed her that Lamb would be far more appropriate. Hats off to him I say, most artists would have merely done as she said. Then wouldn't she have looked silly.

Chicken-chow-veryexpensivelambourghini.

  Finally we see that a man in China has become so incredibly incensed with the customer service offered by Lamborghini that he has hired a group of erm.. 'workers' to smash up his £465,000 supercar on the street. Supposedly this was to 'draw attention to his grievances' after a multitude of problems such as engine failure, garages damaging the bumpers and chassis, and the general problem that it's China and I thought that everyone else there had bicycles or stilts. In all seriousness though, in a week where Comic Relief is coming this weekend, surely the media shouldn't be glorifying this act of waste? We are frequently told that just one pound could buy x, y and z, so what could £465,000 buy for people less privelidged than those of us wealthy enough to blow it on supercars. It really does make you wonder... what is wrong with everyone‽ (yes that's right. I just finished this blog with an interrobang.)